


realization

by tentamentum (exprsslyfrbidden)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, episode rewrite, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:12:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11445360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exprsslyfrbidden/pseuds/tentamentum
Summary: A slight rewrite of S5E11: Retaliation. Emily's hurt in the car accident and JJ realizes things.





	realization

**Author's Note:**

> based on season five, episode eleven: retaliation. The team has to figure out who Schrader's partner is in order to catch him before he escapes across the border with the money from his previous bank heists.

“there’s been an accident. Schrader had a partner. we’re going to the hospital. Bunting’s dead.”

 

JJ clutches at the table, feels ice slide into her blood. “Emily —”

 

“she’s okay, we think she just has a concussion. tell Hotch and Rossi, they were headed northbound in a truck with New York tags.” 

 

“can I — can I talk to her?” 

 

the shuffling of cloth and then — “Jayj?” 

 

she almost cries, catches herself at the last moment. “Emily.” her voice cracks, eyes watering. “are you okay?”

 

“yeah, I — they’re taking me to the, the hospital, you should —” a grunt of pain. her voice is trembling and JJ’s ribs ache with the need to be there beside her. “talk to Hotch. we need to — need to catch Schrader.” 

 

JJ swallows, steadies her voice. “I’m on it.”

 

— 

 

she calls again, after telling them all she knows. Morgan answers, exasperated. “tell your girlfriend that she needs medical attention,” he mutters. “she’s arguing with the doctor.”

 

Fondness warms JJ’s chest and she yearns to be there. “Emily?” 

 

“JJ, I — tell Morgan I can do this, it’s just a concussion. I — I saw them, I can help.” a scuffle. “hey, I don’t — I don’t need all this, I’m fine —” the sound of shoes on linoleum, Morgan groaning, the doctor exclaiming. “seriously, guys —” 

 

“Emily Prentiss!” she’s louder than she intends. good thing most of the officers are gone already. “get your ass back in bed. you have a concussion, you can’t do anything right now except make sure you’re okay. I’m not letting you become another list on Schrader’s victim list.” JJ’s startled by the vehemence in her own voice. 

 

“it’s just a concussion,” Emily mutters, petulant, but ceases to complain. the sound of machines beeping, nurses murmuring. a sigh. “they’re sending the, um, pictures of the accident now.” reluctance. “you have to go?” 

 

“yeah.” JJ looks down, uncurls her fist. “love you.” 

 

there’s a smile in the words. “love you, too.” 

 

— 

 

“hey!” Reid’s eyes light up and JJ whirls.

 

“hey,” Emily mutters, voice hoarse from exhaustion. her eyes find JJ and a lopsided grin creeps onto her face. JJ wants to hit her or kiss her, either or; how can she smile at a time like this? at a time when JJ’s been looking at the pictures of the accident, of detective Bunting, of the blood across the chair and the broken glass. at a time when she’s thinking of how close it was to a different person covered in a white sheet.

 

“how are you feeling?” JJ rushes forward, checks her over — there are cuts on her face, her neck. a white bandage wraps her forearm. she’s limping. “shouldn’t you be in a wheelchair?” 

 

“no,” Emily mutters. “I’m fine, I can walk.” JJ pulls the chair out for her, hand at her back. “thanks.”

 

Hotch’s gaze lingers for a moment — they know he wants to give them time, wants to let them revel in the fact that they’re both still alive — but then Garcia’s on the phone and the moment is past. 

 

JJ stands behind her, hand on her shoulder, warmth a presence and reassurance. Emily leans back into her the slightest bit and things feel better, just a little. 

 

— 

 

they sit in the back of the car on the way to the scene, Emily’s good hand in JJ’s. “what hurts?” JJ asks. Emily’s walking stiff, sitting different, posture tense. 

 

“everything,” Emily laugh-huffs, wincing. “I feel like shit.” 

 

JJ wants to tell her to sleep. to rest. to close her eyes, to take a break, to sit this one out. “we’re going to catch him,” she says instead, because none of those other things will get a positive answer. 

 

“we will,” Emily mutters, voice raw. she squeezes JJ’s hand. “thank you.” 

 

JJ squeezes back and blinks tears away. “of course.”

 

— 

 

Morgan and Emily walk away and JJ listens. she can’t help it. they’re all listening a little, but JJ — she’s listening to the quaver in Emily’s voice, to the way it breaks when she talks about Bunting, to the hesitation and the realization and the vulnerability. the realization. the realization. 

 

“he was helping me. he was talking to  _ me. _ ” 

 

JJ thinks about the blood on the passenger side, thinks about what ifs and hates herself for it. 

 

when they come back over JJ catches Emily’s eye. she’s asking for something, she doesn’t even know what.

 

Emily nods. they look away.

 

— 

 

it’s six. JJ makes the coffee and they sit around talking the case and waiting for the machine to finish, in a circle like they’re praying to the god of caffeine. this is terrible for Emily, JJ knows, but they need to catch Schrader. they need to. 

 

and then, and then, two hours later, they find him. Joe. Joey. whatever his name is. Emily exclaims “that’s him, that’s the guy. it’s ten years ago but — that is the guy.” and JJ loves her, loves her hard and then rushes to figure out the whereabouts of Joe Muller. 

 

— 

 

Emily shoots. she shoots without hesitation and then Joe cries out, desperate, “ _ where’s my family?! _ ”

 

she comes back and she looks shaken, not even from being tackled. Hotch gives them a minute and JJ kisses her for half that minute, whispers soft words and  _ it’s okay _ s and  _ you did the right thing _ s for the other half. Emily nods, stares into empty space, squeezes JJ’s hand and murmurs a trembly  _ thank you. _

 

and then they keep on fighting. they listen to the voicemail and when — when the little boy cries out, Hotch turns away, face tightening in agony and JJ thinks about Henry, how he’d ask for Emily if she hadn’t — if she — 

 

she doesn’t know why this case is hitting her so hard until they find Joe’s family. until they’re reunited, until she sees Emily carrying the kid, sees the relief on her face. she realizes then, because she’s never really understood it. 

 

losing somebody. she’s never….not like this. not to a job. she lost her sister, to her own hand and depression, that creature of the dark. but to lose a person to a job, to lose like Hotch had….she can’t see that. doesn’t get it. doesn’t  _ want  _ to. 

 

she gets it now and it terrifies her. 


End file.
